He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
