Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
