You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
