I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
