actually, I'm a sock model
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Randomize
