I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
