Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
