This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
