He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
