No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
