I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
