I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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