I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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