first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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