Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
