Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
