i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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