Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
