This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
