chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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