Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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