Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
