hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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