so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
