We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
