oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
