Just mADE A PArabola og urine
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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