i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
