I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
How's work?
Spinning.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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