Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
