So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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