i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
