I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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