I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Randomize
