dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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