Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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