she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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