Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
