we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
