i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
