people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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