Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
home. puking in laundry basket.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
