Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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