I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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