I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
