I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
