You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
