I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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