I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I don't deserve a penis
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
