Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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